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Desert Island Thursday • Appetite For Destruction

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that very first guitar stutter…the band takes us on a rollercoaster ride through booze-laden Hell.

Today, my fellow kilSters is the start of Desert Island Duh Month. What’s Desert Island Duh Month? Well, starting today and for the next four weeks, Desert Island Thursday will feature albums that would surely make anyone’s desert island list, (yeah, I say surely but the truth of the matter is, there are many people in the world and many people have many different tastes in music and not everyone will agree with my list. I’ll have to live with that.) I thought to myself, I said, “Self, you know you’re going to cover the Big Impact records, so why not get them out of the way?” I bet you’re probably thinking, “Is this guy crazy? There have been way more than just four albums that could be considered Big Impact records, and thusly on his stupid Desert Island Duh Whatever.” Yes, that is true, but these four albums are so obvious, it’s Duh to prolong the inevitable and just easier to just get them over with. So here we are, I have my list of four albums of the utmost musical significance. I doubt that everyone will agree with me, but that’s fine. I welcome all your comments (hateful or otherwise. See comment box below.)


For the first edition of Desert Island Duh Month, we feature Guns N’ Roses (the real ones) and their monumental first album, Appetite For Destruction (Duh). There have been many gargantuan, important albums that have come out over the years and this one has stayed with me through all these years. Appetite For Destruction was released July 21, 1987 and from that very first guitar stutter at the beginning of “Welcome To The Jungle“, the band takes us on a rollercoaster ride through booze-laden Hell. Whereas other groups of the time (Poison, Motley Crue) relied on androgyny to mask their respective mediocre talents, with Guns N’ Roses, it just seemed more about letting the music do the talking and less about who had the best makeup accessories. Looking back, it’s a wonder that from time to time I’ll still hear about the Crue and Poison and I think to myself, “Why?” For that time, Guns N’ Roses were the only band that mattered from the 80’s glam rock era (and in retrospect, that still holds true.)

Appetite For Destruction, like the band that created the music within the album, was dangerous and gritty. The album was balls out and Devil may care. Guns’ guitarists, Slash and Izzy Stradlin’ were the Joe Perry and Brad Whitford for a new era, complimenting each others significant styles. Bass player, Duff McKagen and Steven Adler created much magic as Guns’ back beat, and rounding out the group, with a singing ability gifted to him by the Dark Overlord, Little Horn, W. Axl Rose.

The original line-up of GN’R (I say original line-up, but original drummer, Steven Adler did not last past the opening track to 1991’s Use Your Illusion II‘s “Civil War” because he loved booze and heroin just a little too much) came out with only one really amazing album. Sure, there was one EP (fan-fucking-tastic EP called GN’R Lies) two more albums of original material and one cover album, but it was Appetite For Destruction that etched the name Guns N’ Roses in the annuls of rock history forever.

The engineer…recorded 45 minutes of this lascivious romp.

Appetite was the greatest hits album that never was. I say never was because, well, Appetite For Destruction is just another one of those albums where every track, and I do mean, EVERY track on the album is simply great. Sure, we know the Appetite singles (“Welcome To The Jungle“, “Paradise City“, and “Sweet Child O’ Mine“), but, damn it, that album was all killer, no filler. Other notable tracks on the album include: “It’s So Easy“, “My Michelle“, “You’re Crazy“, and “Rocket Queen“. The last track (“Rocket Queen“) features Axl having, what sounds like mind blowing sex with Steven Adler’s then-girlfriend. Axl had her 6 ways from Sunday. The engineer for the Appetite For Destruction recorded 45 minutes of this lascivious romp (if you have any interest, the sordid tryst bleeds through “Rocket Queen” at 2:15, with the girl climaxing at 3:10.)


a severe case of megalomania forever changed the dynamic of the brotherhood that once held the Brothers Guns together.

Guns N’ Roses was never better than they were on that first album. As is standard with any band’s first album, Appetite For Destruction showcases Guns N’ Roses at their hungriest. This was the make or break album with everything clearly on the line. With the exception of GN’R Lies, the Guns boys were never able to replicate the success of that first album. Money, drugs, and, for Axl Rose, a severe case of megalomania forever changed the dynamic of the brotherhood that once held the Brothers Guns together. In the ensuing years, Izzy left, Steven Adler got fired. He was replaced by Matt Sorum. Gilby Clarke replaced Izzy only to get fired by Axl after GN’R’s cover album, The Spaghetti Incident?, Slash quit after Axl went behind his back and had his guitar parts erased from the GN’R version of The Rolling Stones’ “Sympathy For The Devil“, which the band had recorded for some vampire movie soundtrack. It took Axl Rose 17 years and many more line-up changes before the new Guns N’ Roses (or as I like to call them Axl & The Hired Hands) released a new studio album, 2008’s subpar, Chinese Democracy.

Guns N’ Roses might never, ever reunite, but at least for a short while, they had their shit together enough to produce 12 of the most memorable tracks on one album, and I guess we’ll always have that, right? Hook yourselves with one of the best albums that’s come out in the last 30 years right over here.

Part II of Desert Island Duh Month will feature an artist that went into the Guinness World Records for having sold over 40 million copies of his monster of a sophomore album. Who is it? Well, if you haven’t guessed it by now, you’ll just have to wait until next Thursday, won’t you? Until then my fellow kilSters, let me reiterate, I would love to hear from YOU. Let me know what you think of the first installment of Desert Island Duh Month. Am I right? Am I wrong? What would YOUR list look like? I await your responses.


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