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Kill ‘Em All Turns 30!!

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Kill ‘Em All…is like a black fire and brimstone ride through the core of Hell.

Yes, I know what I’ve said about Metallica recently, and I’m not recanting any of it, but let’s remember, they were once a great metal band and today Metallica’s debut album, Kill ‘Em All turns 30 years old. Kill ‘Em All was released July 25th, 1983 when Metallica were still hungry San Fran gutter trash (and I say that with the utmost love.) Have you guys heard Kill ‘Em All? From the first track (“Hit The Lights“) to the last (“Metal Militia“) is like a black fire and brimstone ride through the core of Hell.

It was (is) so fucking heavy and in your face. It’s so good, it makes me weep for what’s become of Metallica. How could a band that laughed in the face of Satan with their monumental first offering have resorted to what they are now? Metal-light prima donnas. Alas, such is life and the guys have become money hungry buffoons, but I won’t dwell on what is but rather rejoice at what was. Kill ‘Em All. Fitting title, really, and it definitely does kill!

I’ll never forget where I was when I first heard the album. I was in a classic Ford Mustang hatchback with some one (let’s call him Dick). Anyway, Dick’s only good quality was that he knew his music. So there he and I were going somewhere very, very fast and he just happened to pop in that circular thing (Oh yeah, a CD, that’s it.) into his stereo and it just happened to be Kill ‘Em All. Now at this time, I was already well aware of Metallica through their albums Ride The Lightning, Master Of Puppets, and …And Justice For All, and of course, Metallica’s first foray into pussydom, The Black Album (with the exception of a few songs, I hate The Black album. “Enter Sandman” is at the tippy top of said Hate List.) I should probably mention that this particular story took place a few months before Metallica released Load, the album where they willingly forever destroyed their metal cred. Anyway, I digress. When Dick threw on Kill ‘Em All, for whatever reason it didn’t even register that I was listening to Metallica. I know, right? I honestly thought that I was listening to some hardcore punk band from a bygone era, but when Dick clued me into who I was actually listening to, I was shocked. It was so good, so loud, and so FAST. If cocaine had a soundtrack, Kill ‘Em All would be it. Needless to say, it instantly became one of my favorite albums (and still is.)

For those that wrote off Metallica long ago, I want you to keep something in mind, regardless of what they’ve become, Metallica was once an excellent metal band and they proved that with their first four albums. At least we’ll have those, right? If you once owned Kill ‘Em All, but don’t anymore because your best friend stole it or something, then you need to kick his ass if you’re still speaking to each other at this point and then do yourselves a favor and purchase the album again, it’s worth you doing so and you can do that right here. HAPPY BIRTHDAY KILL ‘EM ALL!!


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